How hard can one step truly be? Really, it's not that difficult.
But today. Today was the FIRST STEP.
We have been in this process since around November? And we just now took our First Steps.
Instead of wallowing in the shame of the months we didn't, I am CELEBRATING in the excitement that we finally did.
Our treadmill has been staring at us all these months like "Yeah. I dare you. Take your coat off the arm grip/rest thing and use me. Please, just use me."
Well, we haven't. And we still didn't.
Tonight, I decided that since we seem to REFUSE to get up off our asses and walk on that treadmill, that we were going to have a 5 minute dance party in the kitchen.
John had no clue. I called him into the kitchen, set the timer for 5 minutes and said "Since we can't walk on the treadmill together, and since we refuse to move on our own, we're going to step, side to side, in the freaking kitchen, for 5 minutes."
Well, there was no stopping us at side stepping... it became a crazy booty shaking, twirling it out, arm wiggling 5 minutes of insanity. Insanity that I'm so glad I can have with my husband, because there is NO ONE ELSE I would let see me dance that way. At least of the opposite sex. There are a lot of my sisters (family sisters and friend sisters) that have seen that and which I would let see that in the future... but still.
Our relationship is pretty amazing. And while we have had many a hard time. And while this PROCESS will continue to produce hard times, I can't imagine doing this, working this, ACCOMPLISHING THIS, with anyone else.
Last week, Wed 3/6, I had a breakdown. I think I finally figured out what I was so afraid of in this process, what was holding me back. I've quit smoking, I've now quit caffeine (week two down, no one dead), and now I've got to give up food?!?!?! I just lost it. A sobbing, hyperventilating mess. I didn't go to choir that night. I wish I had, but at the same time, I didn't have the ability to leave my house after that break down. I felt like in going through this surgery, in changing this, I'd have nothing left.
Today, I had 5 minutes. And I took a step toward the rest of my life.
<3 you! I two are sweet awesome people! I think my husband and I need a 5 minute dance party!
ReplyDeleteThank you my dear! :) You definitely need a 5 minute dance party! It felt great, even if I was winded. :)
DeleteI was smiling like a nincompoop (whatever that is) while reading this, picturing you dancing your butt off in the kitchen. What music did you dance to? You know, you could try 5 minutes again tomorrow and maybe six minutes on Wednesday! Next thing you know you guys will be post surgery and in zumba classes! WTG!
ReplyDelete...and then there'll be videos...
ReplyDeletehahahahhaa! Videos. Probably not. At least not right now, but maybe sometime.
DeleteAnd we danced with NO MUSIC.. we just giggled and marked important time stamps, like half-way through the 5 minutes. :)
Okay... I giggled. I think John laughed at me a little. :) But all in good fun.
DeleteIt's time to Beyoncé to prepare!!! I love the way you face it.
ReplyDeleteI try to get far from the fridge armed with knitting needles ... a twist to your crochet version